“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only saps today of its joy.” -Leo F. Buscaglia.
Part of our Chimp brain is that it refuses to move on when we encounter difficulties in life.
Learning to be in the moment and allow ourselves to feel the things we need to feel so that we can move forward is crucial. Burying it is not a strategy.
Hopefully, at some point, we reach the stage where we can confront whatever situation is causing us angst/stress/anxiety/worry, and then we decide to change. No matter how hard it is.
We can stay angry or upset, or we can choose to move on despite the setbacks and enjoy life with happiness and fulfillment in a new reality.
Yesterday, Dr. LuAnne Gatlin, as a part of our panel, said, “It is okay not to be okay. But it isn’t ok to stay that way.” So well said. There is no need to stay in dark places.
Years ago, when I was still new/young in ministry, I was in a counseling situation with someone who had lived through a rather ugly divorce. She was angry, hurt, scared – all the emotions accompanying radical unexpected life change that wasn’t desired.
As she talked, I assumed the divorce occurred a few years prior. It was over 15 years ago. Yet, she will still be angry, hurt, and scared.
This might sound cruel, but at some point, we decide.
We decide what we are going to do with our life situations.
We can choose to move into happiness or remain where we are and live with bitterness and anger.
Quick tip – anger is WAY easier to hold on to than going through grief. But anger helps no one.
What if we try a plan as outlined in The Chimp Paradox?
Accept. Move on. With a Plan.
AMP is dealing with something unpleasant that we just have to accept.
For the remainder of today – what if we sit with the question,
“Am I willing to accept the negative to move on?”
“Am I actually comfortable with this negativity and do not see a need to change?”
Here’s what accepting looks like . . . .
Try getting it off your chest. Believe it or not, it helps to give it a voice. To talk about it. To express the emotions that the unpleasantness has made us feel. Do this as many times as it takes and do NOT bottle up your emotions.
Bottling emotions is like trying to have a boxing match with an angry chimp in a cage. Guess what – we won’t win! Once we get things off our chest, it eases our stress and we can start the unwinding process.
Remind yourself of a key reality of all life.
It is unfair. And sometimes, frankly, it sucks. But it is what it is. Life is unfair for everyone. Period. Accept it. Then . . . (the rest will come tomorrow!)
The Psalmist David was familiar with accepting the stuff the way it was. I know we hold onto the beautiful Psalms, but try sitting with this one as we learn to accept even the negative things for what they are.
Grace and Peace,
Psalm 88 (NIV):
“Day and night I cry out to you.
May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.
I am overwhelmed with troubles
and my life draws near to death.
I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like one without strength.
I am set apart with the dead,
like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
who are cut off from your care.”