Scripture
1 John 4:19 — “We love because God first loved us.”
Here’s what I’ve noticed about hesed: it’s contagious.
When you’re really loved — I mean held in fierce-tender-loyal-never-
I saw this with my friend David, whose father was… difficult. Critical, demanding, never satisfied. David spent most of his adult life trying to earn approval that never came.
Then David became a father himself. And something beautiful happened. As he held his newborn son, feeling that overwhelming protective love, he got a glimpse of how God felt about him. Not based on performance. Not conditional on success. Just pure, fierce, protective love.
“I realized,” he told me later, “that if I could love my son this much just because he’s mine, how much more does God love me just because I’m God’s?”
That revelation didn’t just change David’s relationship with God. It changed everything. He started loving his wife differently — less defensively, more generously. He forgave his father in ways he never thought possible. He became the kind of dad he’d always wanted.
Here’s the thing: you can’t manufacture hesed through willpower. You can’t decide to love unconditionally and then just… do it. That kind of love has to flow from somewhere deeper.
It has to flow from knowing you’re loved that way first.
This is why John writes, “We love because God first loved us.” Not we love so that God will love us. We love because God already does. Hesed creates hesed.
When you really get that you’re held in covenant love — the kind that fights for you and forgives you and never gives up on you — it transforms your capacity to hold others the same way.
Your spouse starts feeling less like someone who needs to earn your affection and more like someone you’re honored to cherish.
Your kids start feeling less like projects to fix and more like people to enjoy.
Your difficult relatives start feeling less like burdens to endure and more like humans worthy of grace.
That’s the ripple effect of hesed. It creates communities where people can be honest about their struggles, where failure doesn’t mean exile, where grace gets extended not just once but seventy times seven, which means infinitely.
Takeaway
Hesed creates hesed. When you know you’re loved unconditionally, you can’t help but love others more unconditionally, too.
Closing Prayer
God, let Your hesed toward me overflow into hesed toward others. Make me a person who loves the way You love — fiercely, tenderly, and without keeping score.
Grace and Peace,
Andrea