Patience and Curiosity are the best paths forward
We all know what it feels like to be hurt by someone who couldn’t listen long enough to understand us and where we are coming from.
In their attempt to be right, they damaged the relationship when ultimately, taking a breath and asking a few questions like “how” and “why” might have helped the conversation take a different path.
Odds are we’ve all been on the other side of this.
We are the ones who made accusations and didn’t take the time to fully hear the other person. We came into the conversation with our bent and bias.
What if we don’t worry about “being right” but about “making things right?”
What does making things right look like for you?
We have a natural response when we are in the middle of a conflict.
Yesterday in worship, we shared this quiz demonstrating what kind of listener we are. Andy Stanley at North Point Church published this quiz in his message “Me and My Big Mouth.”
See which of the following phrases best describes you in a situation:
1. When someone accuses me of something, I’m quick to:
a. Review the facts with them and prepare a response
b. Write the person off and ignore their claims
c. Ask questions trying to better understand the situation, clarify questions
2. When someone tells me how I’ve hurt them, I’m quick to:
a. Claim my own hurt
b. Defend my actions
c. Affirm their feelings and apologize
3. When I know I’m right, I’m quick to:
a. State my case with evidence
b. Shut down and withdraw emotionally
c. Be curious and patient while they explain their point of view
Great Listener answers would be:
C, C, and C
Average listener answers would be the other two.
None of us are perfect. But now we see what we can aspire to.
Remember, Jesus didn’t talk about being a better listener, he just did it. It was in the way he loved. He didn’t come to be right, even though he ultimately had all the right answers. He came to reconcile.
What does reconciliation look like for us today?
If you missed yesterday’s message, you can watch it by clicking the link below:
Have a great week!