Learning to see from the eyes of the ones whom we love.
Ask: “How would they feel if I said/did this?” It puts things in a completely different perspective. It pushes us to forgo seeing only our personal “way” of seeing. It pushes us into humility.
Learning to communicate in ways that our “mates/partners/significant others/boy/girl/man/lady friends” receive instead of communicating in the ways that feels easiest to us.
Example – Studies show that on average a woman uses 20,000 words a day, a man approximately 7,000. I blow that statistic to pieces and probably use 40,000 words! For an “Andrea partner” – odds are that he may not want all my words, therefore it will be important for me to learn to communicate and express affection in a way that “he” receives, not just what is easiest for me to give.
Ask: “How will my partner BEST feel loved by me?”
Learning how to be a blessing.
Ask: “How can a blessing be experienced by my partner?”
These are three tenets that if we apply them to our intimate relationships, our “love tanks” or “love bank” won’t run down to empty.
Yesterday at West we had the privilege of hearing from several couples at various stages in their relationships HOW they manage their relationships and stay in love with one another.
Here are a few practical applications perhaps we can all employ in our lives this week, either with an intimate partner or with friend/family member.
· Practice mutuality, trust, and vulnerability.
· Recognize unhealthy past patterns from other relationships and do not bring them into the new one.
· Learn to have conflict. Fight, but fight fair and then forgive and move on. Don’t dredge up past things.
· Learn one another’s “Love Language” and then try to act out of that language so that he/she can receive the love/affection you are trying to give. Sometimes we give in the ways WE want to receive; thus, our communication is not received. Then we can’t figure out what the problem is.
Learning how our partner needs to receive is one of the BIGGEST things.
· Have FUN with one another.
· Invest in family.
· KNOW that ALL relationships worth having require work. Do not be a “passive participant.” Be willing to put in the work, even with counseling, so that the relationship can be the best it is designed to be.
· Have faith first in God, and then have faith in one another.
Faith, hope, and love abide, but the greatest of these is love.
If you missed yesterday’s message you can watch here:
3 Don’t do anything for selfish purposes, but with humility think of others as better than yourselves. 4 Instead of each person watching out for their own good, watch out for what is better for others. 5 Adopt the attitude that was in Christ Jesus: