Sometimes when we explore our inner selves we feel as if we are lacking. We know there are things before us that we should journey into and try to accomplish, but for many reasons we are afraid to take those steps of faith.
SHOULD is a KILLER word! One that ultimately we could learn to live without.
Should undermines our abilities to do what we are passionate about . . . what we “want” to do!
It is a disempowering word and ultimately undermines us and what we accomplish in life.
Dr. Susan Heitler was doing a technique in therapy called muscle testing, also known as muscle kinesiology. It assess if a person is comfortable or stressed. If our emotional state is at peace, we would easily be able to hold our arm out straight, parallel to the floor. If then our arm was pushed slightly, it would stay extended. By contrast, if we feel emotionally stressed, a slight push on our arm would cause our arm to flop down.
Dr. Heitler used this once with a professional football player, a member of Denver’s Broncos team. When this super-strong young man was talking normally to her, and I asked him please to extend his arm, there was no amount of pressure that I could exert that would cause that arm, with its bulging muscles, to fall. By contrast, when I asked the football player to think about a situation that had been disturbing for him and then barely touched his outstretched arm, boom, his arm fell. His muscles turned to marshmallows.
Enter the word should.
When I told my football player to repeat the following sentences after me, and after each sentence tested his arm, what do you think happened?
1. “I would like to visit my grandmother.”
2. “I could visit my grandmother.”
3. “I should visit my grandmother.”
4. “I have to visit my grandmother.”
My football player’s muscles stayed rock-strong with the first two sentences. In the third, by contrast, the word should turned his muscles to marshmallow-mode. His arm dropped with my slightest touch.
The same happened when in a different situation she used the words “Have to” They evoked the same powerless state.
If we will stop directing should towards ourselves, we will be able to be more personally empowered.
If we will stop directing should towards others in our lives, we will stop provoking anger.
When we tell someone else they should do something, we are communicating expectations of entitlement and that provokes anger.
We also need to quit thinking we should be at some imaginary “bar” with our faith.
When Peter was with Jesus in the storm, and then he saw Jesus walk on water he BOLDLY called out that he, too, wanted to walk on water.
Once he began, he faltered. (We will talk about that more in detail tomorrow).
Jesus told him he was “faint of heart.”
But guess what . . . faint of heart was better than nothing.
Sometimes a little is enough.
Some faith, even a little, is better than none.
No one else in that boat was boldly saying they wanted to jump out and walk on water.
They were just hanging out . . . watching it all take place.
There is no SHOULD in how much faith that we have.
If we have even the smallest amount, it shows that we have capacity to grow and build on that.
As we take steps in faith, that will happen! Our small faith will grow into BIG faith!
It did for Peter . . . he ended up being a revolutionary that took the message of Christ to the masses.
Remember . . . no “shoulds” . . . only “could” and “I want to . . .”
What do you want to do today?
What can you do today both personally and as a person of faith?