Scripture: Proverbs 27:6 — “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”
One of the trickiest, biggest tensions I live with is working alongside Layne. She’s my daughter — which means there’s a deep love, a natural desire to protect her, and a bond that goes beyond words. But she’s also my colleague. And a staff of West. And in that role, she’s accountable just like everyone else. And the expectations are high.
AND . . . . that’s not always easy. There are moments when it would be simpler to overlook something or make excuses because of my love for her. But that wouldn’t honor West, her calling, her and/or the work we are called to do together. .
Love without accountability becomes enabling. Accountability without love becomes harsh.
Read that sentence again . . . it says a lot.
What we’re trying to practice is the space in between — where love and accountability hold hands.
There have been days when Layne has had to hear hard feedback from me, and I know it stings more because I’m not just her boss — I’m her mom. And there have been days I’ve had to check my own heart: Am I being too hard? Am I expecting more because she’s my daughter?
But here’s what I’ve learned: repair is only possible when accountability is present. If we avoid truth to keep the peace, we end up with a fragile peace that can’t last. But when we step into honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable, we actually strengthen the relationship.
I couldn’t ask for a better relationship with Layne. If you’d asked her 15 years ago if we’d be where we are now, she would have rolled her eyes and laughed. Yet, here we are.
Our relationship couldn’t be stronger. I love her with a love that is indescribable. Yet, the expectations that come with that are not just a given. There is real accountability. And that is ok. She knows it. And loves me in spite of it!
God’s love for us works the same way. It’s not permissive. It doesn’t look the other way when we mess up. Scripture is full of moments when God holds people accountable — but always for the sake of restoration, not destruction. That’s the pattern: love that corrects so that repair can follow.
Blame is easy — it shoves the responsibility elsewhere. But accountability requires us to look inward, to own our part, and to trust that love is strong enough to handle honesty.
And the beauty? On the other side of those hard conversations with Layne, our bond is actually stronger. Because love and accountability — when held together — don’t break relationships. They deepen them.
Prayer:
God, thank you that your love holds me accountable and your accountability always flows from love. Help me live with that same balance in my relationships — speaking truth, owning my part, and seeking repair instead of blame. Amen.
Reflection Question:
Where do I need to bring love and accountability together — instead of avoiding one in favor of the other?
Grace and Peace,
Andrea