Scripture Proverbs 18:21 — “The tongue has the power of life and death.”
Post-divorce, LOTS of people had LOTS of opinions about my entering the dating world.
One gentleman was obsessed (using that word correctly, here) with the question, “How are you ever going to manage that? You are a pastor. Who is going to want to get involved with all that?” (That was a real upper of a conversation.)
Then there was one “friend” (loosely defined term) who lost it when I told her that I was going to begin dating Tom. I needed to learn to be alone. (Uh – already had.) She went on and on… ultimately forbidding me from dating him and holding our friendship “hostage” if I made the decision to move ahead with a relationship. Needless to say, she jumped off the “Andrea Friends” train.
Isn’t it crazy? We can still remember things people said to us decades ago — little throwaway comments that landed like arrows. No doubt the person who said them doesn’t even remember. But we do. The exact tone. The moment. The way it makes our chest sink.
Meanwhile, isn’t it wild how we forget phone numbers, passwords, even what we had for breakfast yesterday… but the harsh words spoken years ago? Those live rent-free in our brains.
It’s like our hearts are made of velcro when it comes to criticism and teflon when it comes to compliments. The negative stuff sticks and won’t let go, while the good words just slide right off.
There’s a neurological reason for that. When you hear words – especially emotionally charged ones – your brain doesn’t just process the sound. Multiple regions light up simultaneously: your emotional centers fire, your memory networks activate, your stress response systems engage, and your decision-making pathways all start rewiring. Hearing literally changes your brain structure. Words don’t just pass by — they sink in and reshape you at the cellular level.
And that’s exactly what the Hebrew language insists. The word Shema (שְׁמַע) means more than “to hear.” It also means “to understand,” “to pay attention,” “to internalize,” “to obey.” To hear someone’s words in Hebrew thinking is to carry their weight, to let them do their work inside you. In Hebrew, listening is never shallow — it’s always heavy, always consequential.
Which explains why reckless words can bruise us for years – they’re designed to stick, to shape us. But it also explains why words of life can lift us when nothing else can. Think of the times someone said, “I believe in you,” or “I forgive you,” or “You’re not alone.” Those words carried transformative weight too.
But here’s the question Shema presses into us: What are we doing with the words of God? Are our hearts teflon when it comes to His promises – letting them slide right off without penetrating? Do they wash over us like background noise, the spiritual version of “blah blah blah”?
Or do we have velcro hearts for God’s voice – letting God’s words of love, forgiveness, calling, and hope stick and do their transformative work inside us?
The call isn’t to be a perfect listener. It’s to develop velcro for the right voices – especially God’s – and teflon for the wrong ones. That’s the heart of Shema: hearing that matters, listening that transforms, words that are allowed to do their sacred work of reshaping us from the inside out.
Takeaway: In Hebrew, to hear is to bear the weight of what was spoken. Shema isn’t shallow. It’s heavy. Choose velcro for God’s voice.
Closing Prayer: God, help me carry Your words with the weight they deserve. Don’t let me brush past them like chatter. Give me velcro for Your voice and teflon for the lies that try to stick where they don’t belong. Let Your words shape me. Amen
Grace and Peace,
Andrea