The Mountain Inside of You

Scripture: Romans 7:15 – “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

As I stood at the bottom of the mountain, I knew there was no way of getting around it. We still had enough daylight, that was not a valid excuse. Not to mention we’d committed to this “bucket list trip.” I couldn’t let my fear of inadequacy keep me from doing what we’d gone to Iceland to do in the first place.

Frankly, it brought comfort to know I wasn’t the only one intimidated by the hike. The small child openly weeping about “not wanting to climb all those steps” brought some solace. I thought about volunteering to stay with her and her mom could accompany Tom, but I concluded no one would think that was a good idea other than me. 

So we started up the ten billion steps.  

If you are getting ready to hike a mountain, what are the first things you would do? 

You’d make sure you were as ready as you could be, right? 

Depending on the type of hike, you’d get supplies, map your route, and make sure you had everything you needed for the climb. You might even imagine yourself standing triumphantly at the summit, viewing all that you’d achieved.

But what if, as you started the climb, you realized you were carrying too much weight? The backpack that was supposed to be your support, was actually weighing you down.

You stop and open it, and notice inside underneath your needed supplies, you have things that aren’t needed. In fact, they are hindrances. Huge rocks —labeled “fear,” “doubt,” and “guilt.” You didn’t put them there intentionally, but somehow, you’ve been carrying them all along.

Climbing the mountain suddenly feels impossible—not because the mountain is too steep, but because of the weight you’re dragging with you.

This is the challenge Brianna Wiest describes when she writes:
“Your mountain requires you to reconcile two parts of you: the conscious and the unconscious—the part of you that is aware of what you want and the part of you that is not aware of why you are still holding yourself back.”

The Apostle Paul knew this struggle. In Romans 7:15, he admits to wrestling with the same inner conflict we all face: wanting to do good but finding himself stuck. 

It’s not a lack of desire that holds us back; it’s the invisible burdens we carry.

Maybe you’ve set a goal or prayed for change, yet you still feel stuck. Part of you dreams of the summit, but another part clings to safety. Maybe it’s the fear of failure: What if I try and fall short? Or perhaps it’s an old narrative whispering: You’re not good enough, strong enough. Who do you think you are?

What if the weight you’re carrying isn’t yours to hold? What if the climb you’re avoiding isn’t impossible, but it starts with unpacking what’s holding you back?

Let’s go back to our metaphor. Imagine stopping mid-hike to empty your bag. You pull out a rock labeled “fear.” You hold it in your hands, examine it, and ask yourself, “Why am I still carrying this? What would happen if I left it here?”

As you release it, the climb becomes lighter. Each step forward feels freer. You realize the weight wasn’t just slowing you down—it was convincing you that the summit wasn’t worth the effort.

Reconciling the conscious and unconscious parts of ourselves requires honesty. It’s about pausing to ask:

  • What do I want?
  • What’s holding me back?
  • And why am I still carrying this weight?

Prayer:
Knowing God, sometimes I feel stuck between who I am and who I want to be. Help me to see the burdens I’ve been carrying, especially the ones I don’t even realize. Give me the courage to name them, lay them down, and trust You to guide me upward. Amen.

Action Step:
Set aside 10 minutes today to reflect on your own “backpack.” Write down what you truly want—your dreams, your prayers, your goals. Then, on another list, write the fears or doubts that might be holding you back.

Ask God for the strength to leave one of those “rocks” behind today.

Closing Thought:
The mountain isn’t just about the climb—it’s about what you’re willing to let go of along the way. Reconciling your desires with your doubts is the first step toward freedom. You don’t have to carry everything. Let God lighten your load so you can move forward with hope and purpose.

What will you leave behind today to make your climb lighter tomorrow?