Facing the Reality of Ourselves

Scripture: Psalm 139:23-24 – “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Life throws us all kinds of challenges, but not all problems are created equal. Some are circumstantial: a delayed flight, a sudden expense, or a difficult conversation. They arise from the unpredictability of life.

But other problems seem like they’re following us everywhere.

Brianna Wiest observes, “Usually, when we have a problem that is circumstantial, we are facing the reality of life. When we have a problem that is chronic, we are facing the reality of ourselves.”

Here’s the hard truth: chronic problems often reveal patterns within us.

They are rooted in our behaviors, thought processes, or unresolved emotions.

That toxic relationship we keep getting stuck in? It might be tied to our unmet need for validation.

The procrastination that haunts us? It could be a fear of failure disguised as laziness.

Chronic financial struggles? Perhaps there’s a pattern of avoiding hard decisions or denying the root cause.

What if we examine our unconscious beliefs driving our actions and align our external lives with what’s happening internally?

Psychologically, chronic problems often stem from what’s known as cognitive dissonance—the tension we feel when our actions conflict with our values or beliefs. For example:

  • You value financial stability but overspend as a way to self-soothe stress.
  • You long for a deeper connection with loved ones but avoid vulnerability because it feels risky.
  • You want success but sabotage opportunities because failure feels safer than trying and falling short. 

This dissonance creates patterns that keep us stuck. Until we bring these patterns into conscious awareness, they’ll continue to play out.

Another psychological principle at work here is confirmation bias. Our brains tend to seek evidence that supports what we already believe—about ourselves and the world.
If we believe we’re not worthy of success, we unconsciously act in ways that reinforce that belief, even when it contradicts what we consciously want.

Wiest challenges us to confront these dynamics: “You are not stuck because you cannot change; you are stuck because you will not change.” It’s not about ability—it’s about willingness.

The psalmist’s prayer in Psalm 139 is an act of incredible self-awareness and humility. “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” This is the work of bringing the unconscious into the conscious, of aligning our deepest fears and patterns with God’s truth.

God doesn’t ask us to confront ourselves alone. Divine grace meets us in our self-reflection, offering not only insight but also transformation.

Chronic problems don’t mean we’re broken beyond repair; they mean God is inviting us to grow.

Wiest’s principles align with both psychology and Scripture. Here’s how we can begin to address chronic problems:

  1. Acknowledge the Pattern:
    Self-awareness is the first step. Ask yourself, “What keeps showing up in my life?” Is there a recurring issue in your relationships, career, or habits?

    Be honest about the role you play in the problem. This isn’t about blame—it’s about understanding.

  2. Identify the Root Cause:
    Reflect on what unconscious beliefs or emotions might be driving the pattern.

    For example, if you struggle with procrastination, ask, “What am I afraid of if I succeed? What am I afraid of if I fail?”

  3. Challenge the Narrative:
    Replace limiting beliefs with empowering truths.

    Scripture offers countless affirmations: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) or “I can do all things through Christ” (Philippians 4:13).

  4. Take Action, Even Small Steps:
    Action disrupts the cycle of chronic problems. Start with one small, manageable change.

    For example, set a budget for one month or commit to one honest conversation with someone you love.

  5. Invite God into the Process:
    Pray for insight, strength, and grace. Self-awareness can be uncomfortable, but God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Prayer:
God, search me and know my heart. Help me to see the patterns in my life that keep me stuck. Give me the courage to face the reality of myself—not with shame, but with hope and grace. Lead me in the way everlasting, transforming my life from the inside out. Amen.

Action Step:
Choose one recurring problem in your life. Spend 10 minutes journaling about it. Ask yourself:

  • Is this problem circumstantial or chronic?
  • What might be contributing to this pattern?
  • What is one small step I can take to address it?

Pray over your reflections and invite God into the process of uncovering and transforming your life.

Closing Thought:
Chronic problems aren’t punishments—they are invitations to align our inner world with our outer reality. They remind us that transformation begins within. The moment we acknowledge the truth about ourselves, we open the door for growth, grace, and lasting change. God is ready to walk with you—are you ready to take the first step?