The Sacred Art of Unbecoming
Scripture: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
Recently we pulled an old sermon to show on a snow day on a Sunday.
I noticed my perfectly matched wardrobe . . . trendy necklace. Matching shirt. I remembered how I took careful pains and spent a lot of money on looking “different” every Sunday. Yet, later that week I stood in my closet, staring at clothes I hadn’t worn in years. Designer labels, perfect fits, clothes that once defined my “professional image.” Yet as I stood debating what to do with them, I realized these weren’t just clothes – they were artifacts of someone I used to be. Someone I thought I needed to be.
Letting them go felt like betrayal. Yet keeping them felt like wearing someone else’s skin.
Brianna Wiest introduces a radical concept: transformation isn’t always about becoming more – sometimes it’s about becoming less.
She writes, “The process of transformation is not about becoming someone else, but rather unbecoming everything you are not.”
This “unbecoming” isn’t about loss – it’s about liberation.
Think about a sculptor working with marble. The masterpiece emerges not by adding, but by carefully removing what doesn’t belong. Every chip away reveals more of what was always meant to be there.
The Weight of False Selves
We accumulate identities like layers of paint – the achiever, the peacemaker, the strong one, the fun one, the responsible one. Each layer added for protection, acceptance, survival. We wear these identities so long we forget they’re costumes.
Moses exemplifies this journey. Raised as Egyptian royalty, he accumulated layers of privilege and power. His transformation began not with gaining something new, but with stripping away what wasn’t authentically his. In the wilderness, far from palace protocols and royal responsibilities, he encountered God at the burning bush – not as a prince, but as his true self.
The Courage to Decrease
John the Baptist understood this principle when he declared of Jesus, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). This wasn’t self-deprecation – it was sacred surrender.
Wiest challenges us to ask: What if the next level of growth isn’t about adding more, but about letting go?
– Let go of outdated self-images
– Release the need to be everything to everyone
– Surrender the identities we’ve outgrown
The Gift of Empty Spaces
Here’s the paradox: unbecoming creates space for authentic becoming. When we release what we’re not, we discover who we’ve always been.
Remember, Rohr calls this “falling upward” – the spiritual journey of letting go to grow up. It’s counterintuitive in a culture obsessed with more, better, faster. Yet there’s profound freedom in emptying our hands of what we’ve outgrown.
Prayer: God of transformation, grant me courage to release what no longer serves Your purpose in my life. Help me trust that in letting go, I’m not losing myself but finding myself in You. Amen.
Action Step: Choose one identity, role, or behavior you’ve outgrown. Write it down, then prayerfully release it, creating space for authentic growth.
Closing Thought: Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is stop being who we think we should be and embrace who God created us to be. Unbecoming isn’t loss – it’s liberation.