Scripture: Matthew 5:44 – “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Sometimes we confuse understanding with obligation.
You begin to see someone’s frame of reference—how their past shaped them, why they act the way they do, how the hurt in them makes them react. And something inside of you softens. That’s good. That’s holy. That’s the work of grace.
But if you’re not careful, that grace can quietly become permission.
Permission for their behavior to go unchecked.
Permission for your needs to take a back seat.
Permission to keep contorting yourself into something smaller just to stay connected.
And that’s not love. That’s erasure.
This week has been about seeing people more fully—recognizing their projections, their triggers, their trauma stories. But here’s the final step in that work:
You can hold understanding and hold your ground.
You can say, “I get why they responded that way”—and still choose not to be pulled into it.
You can say, “That makes sense based on their story”—and still say, “But that’s not okay with me.”
Jesus modeled this beautifully.
He saw people clearly. Knew their inner lives. Read the subtext under every question, every challenge, every silent withdrawal. And even with all that insight, he didn’t let people’s projections shape his purpose. He didn’t confuse empathy with emotional responsibility.
He loved people.
He understood people.
And still—he walked his path.
Some of us need that final clarity:
You can understand why someone acts the way they do—and still not give them access to your peace.
That’s not unloving. That’s maturity.
There’s a term in psychology for when you get too entangled in someone else’s story—it’s called emotional fusion. It happens when your empathy overrides your identity. When their feelings become your burden. When your desire to connect keeps you in places you no longer feel safe or whole.
But self-awareness without self-protection is not spiritual.
Jesus’ love always came with wisdom.
His grace came with boundaries.
He didn’t need to explain himself to everyone.
He didn’t stay where his spirit wasn’t received.
He understood people deeply—and still walked away when necessary.
So if you’ve done the work this week—if you’ve named the ways others misunderstand you, if you’ve released your need to be seen perfectly, if you’ve traced someone’s behavior back to their story—then here is your final invitation:
You don’t have to lose yourself in their frame.
You can see it.
You can name it.
You can honor it.
And you can still choose you.
Reflection for Today:
Where have you mistaken empathy for endurance?
Where are you still giving emotional access to someone simply because you “understand why they’re like that”?
What would it look like to love them clearly—and also love yourself completely?
Breath Prayer:
Inhale: I can see their story…
Exhale: …and still honor mine.
Inhale: Christ’s love holds us both.
Exhale: And I can walk in peace.
Grace and Peace,
Andrea