Recently, I was having a conversation with Layne and she uttered those words.
“I don’t think he likes me.”
Now, had they been about her husband, I would have entertained the conversation. Because it would be important for her spouse to like her, ha!
However, they were about someone she has no deep, meaningful relationship with. They are merely acquaintances.
Before I could think about a gentler response,
“And can I just ask . . . why do you care?” came out of my mouth.
She laughed—but we both knew it hit something real.
Because Layne wants to be liked.
And honestly? Don’t we all?
We want to be liked by people who barely know us.
We want to be liked by people we don’t even like.
We want to be liked by the Starbucks barista, the boss, the neighbor who won’t make eye contact, the person who hasn’t returned our text.
We want to be liked even if we know we’re not being fully ourselves.
But, per Mel Robbins (and Jesus) – wanting to be liked is a problem. Period.
“Not everyone is going to like you. Let them not like you.” Robbins
There’s no version of you that escapes criticism.
There’s no edit of your personality that earns universal approval.
There’s no amount of smiling, explaining, self-correcting, or people-pleasing that guarantees someone else’s affection.
And chasing it? It’ll wear you down.
Because at some point, your soul will whisper:
“If you have to morph to be liked… are they REALLY liking YOU or is it a fake version of you?”
Jesus lived free from that trap.
He loved people deeply—but he didn’t need every single one of them to like him.
And spoiler: they didn’t.
People misunderstood him.
People thought he was arrogant, dangerous, blasphemous, unstable.
They mocked him, doubted him, walked away from him.
And he let them.
Not because he didn’t care about people.
But because he refused to shape-shift for approval.
That’s not arrogance. That’s alignment.
That’s what it looks like to live from truth instead of for acceptance.
So maybe the real question isn’t: “Do they like me?”
It’s: “Am I living in a way that aligns with who I truly am—and what God already knows about me?”
Because the moment you release the need to be liked…
You open up space to be free.
To be grounded.
To be honest.
To be deeply, unapologetically whole.
Journaling Prompt:
Who’s on your mental list of people you “need” to like you right now? What would shift in your heart if you let go of that need—and trusted that being grounded in truth is enough?
Grace and Peace,
Andrea